I love Paranormal Spring Break as much as you guys do, because I discovered amazing new-to-me authors in the process! Today, Darynda Jones, authors of First Grave on the Right is by my side for a very helpful guest post. The subject I suggested her? Reaper's Guide: The Art of Dating. Shall we see the 5 golden rules of dating Paranormal style?
A Reaper’s Guide to Dating:
Tip #1: Prepare mentally
Everyone, even a reaper, needs to prepare for the dating arena. If you really want to succeed, to find that someone special, you’ve got to be committed to playing the dating game. Preferably without collecting the soul of the person you are dating. Unless you are willing to date a corpse. In that case, be prepared for a very one-sided relationship. Advice: Don’t kill your date.
Tip #2: Prepare physically
Treat yourself to a makeover. Go shopping. Get rid of that dry skeletal look that was so yesterday. For the love of God, exfoliate. And that long black robe? Very 70s. Update your hair and wardrobe and step into the arena in style. And don’t kill your date.
Tip #3: Think about your expectations
Consider what you hope to achieve while dating. Are you laid back and just want to have fun by poking your would-be honey bunny with the tip of your scythe or do you want to be married in eight weeks, seven days, six hours and twenty-three minutes? Dating for a long-term relationship versus dating for purely sexual reasons are two very different kinds of dating. Adjust your regimen—and your attire—accordingly. And don’t kill your date.
Tip #4: Be realistic
Dating is a whole-package kind of deal. If you want glitz and glamour, you need to present yourself that way. And, no, sewing sequins onto a tattered black robe doesn’t really count. See tip #2. You might stash the scythe while your at it as well. It makes people…uncomfortable. And don’t kill your date.
Tip #5: Never make yourself too available
Dating is very much about the thrill of the chase. Don’t be afraid to be mysterious. In keeping with this philosophy, don’t sleep with your date too early. Sure you can tie him up on the first date, but will that really give him a sense of who you are? Or will it have him pressing charges? Best to save the bondage for the third date as a general rule of thumb. And don’t kill him!
These tips were brought to you by the caring people at the Rest Easy Mortuary, where resting is easy and eternal.
Waa! What an helpful guide Darynda. I already found my second half, but I’m sure this precious will help many single girls out there *winks*
In the spirit of Spring Break, would you share with us your best memory?
I’d love to say my fav memory of spring break was when my BFF and I went to Hawaii, had torrid affairs with male supermodels, then won a bikini contest that was judged by the members of Seether. (I have a little crush on the boys of Seether.) But since none of that ever happened, I guess I probably shouldn’t say that.
Really, I’m the most boring person ever. My best spring breaks were hanging with my BFF at the lake, lounging on rocks and spinning tales of adventure and mayhem.
Once a writer, always a writer.
Thank you so much for having me!
Thank you so much for stopping by Darynda <3 It’s been a pleasure to have you on the blog!
A smashing, award-winning debut novel that introduces Charley Davidson: part-time private investigator and full-time grim reaper.
Charley sees dead people. That’s right, she sees dead people. And it’s her job to convince them to “go into the light.” But when these very dead people have died under less than ideal circumstances (i.e. murder), sometimes they want Charley to bring the bad guys to justice. Complicating matters are the intensely hot dreams she’s been having about an entity who has been following her all her life…and it turns out he might not be dead after all. In fact, he might be something else entirely.
Fun facts about the book:
- Charley’s name was originally Harley Davidson, lol. Yeah, it was worth a shot.
- Originally, Charley was NOT the grim reaper. She was more like a sarcastic version of The Ghost Whisperer. But an agent who was interested in the story early on said that concept had been done to death. He wanted something bigger. And the real Charley Davidson was born! (Then the agent rejected her.)
- Darynda stole the name Reyes from a kid while she was working as an interpreter, as well as the name Federico. She hopes they’re okay without them.
- The character for Uncle Bob is based on the high school principal in Darynda’s hometown. He doesn’t really like her, so nobody tell him.
- Misery is based on her brother’s cherry red Jeep Wrangler.
- Charley’s attention span is quite similar to the author’s.
- Swopes (ie, Garrett Swopes) is Darynda’s BFF’s last name.
Thanks to Darynda I have a Signed hardcover copy of First Grave on the Right to offer to one lucky reader!
- This giveaway is open Internationally
- To enter, just leave a comment sharing with us a dating tip of your own ^^
- Don’t forget to include a way to contact you!
If you want to earn an extra entry, spread the word and provide a link in a different comment =)
Tweet: WIN! *Signed* First Grave on the Right by Darynda Jones http://nblo.gs/f9s04 @parajunkee & @Tynga #ParanormalSpringBreak #giveaway PLZ RT
Ends April 6th, 2011.
To anxious? You can purchase First Grave on the Right here: