Good Morning everyone! I am really thrilled to have Jess (author of Hunter by the Others) and her characters by my side this morning, for a rather interesting guest post! Jess has been really fantastic and she also got some treats to share with you, so make sure you stick with us ‘til the end!
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Shiarra Waynest Talks About Hunting Vampires
By Jess Haines
Shiarra is going to tell you a little bit about what it takes to hunt vampires. Over to you, Shia!
____________________
Royce: First, I’d like to make sure it’s on the record that I had no idea that today’s topic was going to cover hunting my people down, and I take offense to that.
Shiarra: Oh, come on. I didn’t kill you, did I? Anyway, I’m never going to get used to doing these things.
Arnold: Me neither. Tyhitia was pretty nice to give us pizza last time we did this,though.
Royce: What is it with you people and pizza?
Shiarra: Pipe down, let me tell the people what they came here to hear about. Okay, so—wait a sec, I’m supposed to talk about hunting vampires?
Arnold: Yeah. It’s not easy, by the way. Hell, I wouldn’t do it.
Shiarra: I’m not a hunter!
Royce: We know.
Shiarra: Hey, I never agreed to this. I’m not good at fighting or hunting or whatever. Tynga, did some White Hats put you up to this?
Arnold: You can just say what you know.
Royce: Or you could keep your mouth shut.
Shiarra: You know what? Fine. All right, people, listen up, I’m only going to say this once. Vampires are evil, devious, manipulative—
Royce: Hey!
Shiarra: —and not to be messed with. They’re dangerous. Don’t sign a contract with one, don’t talk to them, don’t even look at them if you can help it. Stay away from them.
Royce: We’re not that bad. New York has the lowest rate per capita of deaths to contracts signed—
Arnold: Oh, that’s reassuring.
Royce: Quiet, spark. Why are you even here?
Arnold: We’re supposed to be talking vampire hunting. I provide the tools for assignments like that at The Circle, New York’s premier actively practicing mage coven. So, folks, if you ever need to get rid of a leech, come see me! Our office is centrally located in downtown Manhattan—
Royce: For God’s sake!
Shiarra: Whoa. Vampires can say that?
Arnold: Yeah. They even say “damn” instead of “darn.” Can you believe it?
Shiarra: Now you’re making fun.
Royce: Caught on to that, did you?
Shiarra: Hey, everyone! Vampires hate sunlight! Ooh! And garlic! And holy water!
Royce: Actually, holy water doesn’t hurt me.
Shiarra: Really? I thought—
Royce: —wrong, as usual.
Shiarra: I hate you. Did I mention that?
Arnold: No, but some of us wouldn’t mind hearing it again.
Royce: If you insist on carrying out a death wish, use holy water against a vampire who doesn’t subscribe to Catholicism or any of its subsects.
Shiarra: Yeeeeah—‘kay. Oh, fire is always good!
Royce: Or not. Consider the potential property loss and collateral damage.
Arnold: Shoot, does that mean I don’t get to use my fireball spell? I’ve got a Wand of Fireball that does an extra D-6 of damage every round.
Shiarra: …
Royce: …
Arnold: What? That was funny! Am I the only nerd here? C’mon, people!
Shiarra: Yeah, you know, maybe you should let me finish the interview.
Arnold: Gah. Fine.
Shiarra: Okay. Things that are bad for vampires: fire, garlic, sunlight. Not holy water. Stakes? Sharp, pointy objects?
Royce: Considering our speed and strength, getting close enough to use those things could be hazardous to the average hunter’s health.
Shiarra: Okay, you know what? This isn’t fair. What do we need to do, nuke you from orbit to be sure?
Arnold: Holy shit! She made a geek reference! Win!
Shiarra: Christ! It’s not that big a deal. I’m not a geek. Who hasn’t seen that movie?
Royce: We’re straying from the topic at hand again.
Shiarra: Right, right. So, seriously, what would kill you?
Royce: I’m not answering that.
Arnold: Shoot. What if we guess via charades? Hey, that sounds like a fun way to figure out how to kill vamps. Who wants to start?
Royce: This interview is over.
Shiarra: It is? …Hey!
____________________
Err, right. So! There you have it, folks, straight from the horse’s mouth. You can learn more about Shiarra and the rest of her friends in HUNTED BY THE OTHERS. If you'd like a chance to win a signed copy of the book, leave a comment below telling us what you think is a great way to get rid of a pesky vampire! (Tynga will give you the details below )
Thanks again for having me and the gang over, Tynga!
Thank you so much Jess for such an entertaining moment lol
Now on to giveaway details!
As Jess mentioned earlier, one of you lucky duck will win a signed copy of Hunted by the Others!
They are the Others—t
he vampires, mages, and werewolves once thought to exist only in our imaginations. Now they’re stepping out of the shadows, and nothing in our world will ever be the same again…
In a Town Like This, Being A P.I. Can Be Murder
Shiarra Waynest’s detective work was dangerous enough when her client base was strictly mortal. But ailing finances have forced her to accept a lucrative case that could save her firm—if it doesn’t kill her first. Shiarra has signed on to work for a high-level mage to recover an ancient artifact owned by one of New York’s most powerful vampires.
As soon as Shiarra meets sexy, mesmerizing vamp Alec Royce, she knows her assignment is even more complicated than she thought. With a clandestine anti-Other group trying to recruit her, and magi being eliminated, Shiarra needs back-up and enlists her ex-boyfriend—a werewolf whose non-furry form is disarmingly appealing—and a nerdy mage with surprising talents. But it may not be enough. In a city where the undead roam, magic rules, and even the Others aren’t always what they seem, Shiarra has just become the secret weapon in a battle between good and evil—whether she likes it or not…
This giveaway is International (Thank you Jess!)
To enter you have to leave a comment answering Jess’ question AND Fill the form!
If you don’t fill the form, your entry doesn’t count.
There are no ways of earning extra entries, but spreading the word is greatly appreciated =)
Ends July 4th, 2010.
or…
I love Italian food, so if it's true that vampires don't like garlic, I'll just always have a big pot of spaghetti sauce simmering away on my stove. That should keep them out of the house.
ReplyDeleteA sharp sword by the door to chop the head off any vamp that got difficult.
ReplyDeleteAnd for portability, and to enable me to keep my distance, maybe a lasso of piano wire. Lasso them round the neck and then with one swift tug the vamp threat is neutralised.
This is very difficult.But I think of crystallized daylight with some science experts help in a bullet that you can shoot them directly and it melt straight away in their blood circulation. wow. i know i'm mean..LOL.
ReplyDeleteWhat about a nice cold shower with holy water? That should help, right?
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with JenM though, eating a lot of garlic also crossed my mind!
Thanks fo the contest!
I am a traditionalist.
ReplyDeleteA nice sharp oak stake and a ten pound hammer and YACK right through the heart and they are dead as they ever will be. If the blood jets out as the heart pumps its last, that is even better.
Gory hey !
Carol T
buddytho {at} gmail DOT com
Great way to get rid of a pesky vampire? My choice is fire! What is better than a flame-thrower?! :P
ReplyDeleteTo rid a pesky vampire - close the book.
ReplyDeleteI would invite him over for a cookout, and say I was serving "stakes".
ReplyDeletetwoofakind12@yahoo.com
I would probably take the coward's way out--find out where they sleep during the day and blow up the joint. I would never want to get up close and personal with them again once I found out they were a vampire.
ReplyDeleteSimple. If it's night time, use your stake-filled crossbow (possibly co-weilded with a friend) and shoot it in the heart. If it's daylight, that's even easier as you simply have to shove it into the sunlight. : D
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'd probably loose to a vampire & I think that's why I love werewolves more, lol. (They're not as scary & if you end up one, it's a little less depressing to me).
Thanks so much for the giveaway!
ambience.of.rain {at} gmail.com
I would play the WHY game. It gets on everyones nerves even vamps so it would be a perfect way to get rid of them.
ReplyDeleteHmmm- depends what the vampire rules are in your world. I like the piano wire idea. But I just don't think I'd be personally capable of lopping someone's head off. I'd go with silver bullets, possibly etched or painted with various religious symbols.
ReplyDeleteI would have to go with a combo: Garlic (though only because I am addicted to the stuff--suppose I could give it up for the right vamp but he would have to be special) and wooden stake (it can get through metal detectors--these days they are the crux of any well defensed vamp hunter).
ReplyDeleteBuffy style- an wooden stake through the heart
ReplyDeleteI'm a lover not a fighter..wait who am I kidding? LOL! I'm thinking I wouldn't be able to stake anything let alone a "person", so maybe a cross bow so I didn't need to be too close!
ReplyDeleteTrap them somewhere to meet the sun. Then there's no mess for you to clean up!
ReplyDeleteIf faced with a vampire to kill, I would probably scream like a little girl and run. I am such a wuss. I guess I need to go down to the local pawn shop and get me a gun with UV bullets. Hunted by the Others sounds hawt!!
ReplyDeleteThe phone number of my enemy on my visting cards *gg*
ReplyDeleteJess, thanks for a fantastic interview - I loved it and I can't wait to read your book and I'm so glad the next one will be out soon :)
greetings, Ina
ps: oh, just saw it - congrats on the German release of Hunted by the Others in January 2011 *wohooo*
Wa LOL this comment section is tunring into a blood bath, aren't I glad I am not a vampire haha
ReplyDeleteRoger, Cait045 - Your answers are priceless!
That was an awesome interview!! Those guys and gal are funny!!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I would ever win against a vampire. I'm a big wussy!! So I would say for me I would have to seduce them and then stake them when they least expect it.
I have to say that the only consistent way I heve ever heard for killing a vampire is to decapitate so I am thinking a nice sharp ax would be good.
ReplyDeleteIt would be better if I had a nice mechanism to hurl it.
Thanks!
Katie
I am going to say cut their head off and then stake. I would tend to go for the overkill. Make sure they are good and dead rofl.
ReplyDeleteHow about a gun that can shoot wooden bullets are maybe bullets with sunlight ok fake sunlight inside. Hey wasn't that on the movie Underground or something? If it worked for them shouldn't it work for us mere humans? Although I kind of like cait045's answer play the why came or better yet the what if game I always hated that one myself.
ReplyDeleteI think by shooting them in the heart as many times as you can
ReplyDeleteI like the gold old fashioned way,
ReplyDeleteHoly Water to slow them down,
Steak through the heart,
dismemberment,
And burn the remains.
Nowadays it's a little trickier! If I had the resources and a weapons guy, I would go for a crossbow with an arrow.
ReplyDeleteThe arrow would be a certain type of wood, depending on which legend I go by in order to get rid of a pesky vampire.
But first I better go take lessons on how to fire a crossbow...
:)
I would consume a lot of Holy water myself, so that it gets caught in my bloodstream, and then I will let the vampire bite me. That way I would find out how it is like being bitten by av vampire, but the vampire would perish before me because he got infected by Holy water through my blood ;)
ReplyDeleteBut.....but...but....who said I wanted the vampire to go away??
ReplyDelete*sigh*
Ok. I am a Buffy fan, so I have to go with the stake. Although a crossbow would come in handy.... :D
How about live in a glass house with a garlic garden surrounding it and a holy water moat. If that doesn't work, lots of high power weapons that fire wooden stakes.
ReplyDeleteOh, man, you guys are cracking me up!
ReplyDeleteCaito, that response was amazing. LOL!
Ina, thank you very much!
Natasha, I'm with you. Unfotunately, Shia doesn't agree. *g*
Keep the comments coming! Lovin' it, guys!
-J
Well, if Vampires insist on taking a sip of our blood, I would jack everyone up on antidepressants or painkillers or some such thing and then when the vamps get high after a swallow or two, easy staking =p
ReplyDeleteI'd just keep a stake handy and let 'im have it when he's least expecting it. :-)
ReplyDeleteOnly drink holy water, then you will poison him with your blodd. mwa-ha-ha.
ReplyDeleteI'd get one of those cool light gadgets from Blade II that explode light and can scorch tons of vampires in one lightning-induced second. :)
ReplyDeleteCrossbow to the heart and while the vamps withering in pain slice is head off with my sword. Now, where would I get a crossbow and a sword...
ReplyDeleteI still think the best way to get rid of a pesky vampire is to wear a garlic necklace!
ReplyDeletewandanamgreb(at)gmail(dot)com
I loved this book and got such a kick out of the extra dialog today. Thanks Jess!
ReplyDeleteMu husband and I would hand cuff him, throw him in a cage and expose him to the sun.
ReplyDeletechirth7@yahoo.com
How about using fireworks? You could wait until they all gather to watch the show, and then shoot the fireworks into the crowd of vamps. It would catch them on fire, and you can do it from a distance. ;)
ReplyDeleteheatwave96(at)hotmail.com
I think one good way to get a pesky vamp to leave you alone would be to pull his fangs while he's sleeping. That might scare him off. Can't wait to read this book.
ReplyDeleteGive him another food source - preferably an enemy on a platter!
ReplyDeleteAs per the vampire diaries , vervaine keeps the vampires away . So i will consume lots of vervaine . Oh and drink lots of holy water too.
ReplyDeletemishamary@gmail.com
Hmm... I don't like stakes, you have to get way too close and there's a good chance you'll miss so... I'd say a flamethrower! very dramatic and cool! xD
ReplyDeleteI'd have to say cut off its head then burn the remains. I have qualms with using garlic water or stakes because there are so many misconceptions in different novels.
ReplyDelete- Elise
I'd have to stick with the good old stake to the heart. If you can manage it, I figure that's a guarantee.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely wouldnt want to get too close. So if there is nothing else around, I think a nice flame thrower. But if its possible to hurt others in the process then a crossbow with a stake though the heart.
ReplyDeleteI would boil lots of garlic in holy water then put the mixture in a water blaster! Then I'll go ask a friend to chop his head off, then we'll burn him together and scatter the ashes. ^_^
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want to hurt the vampire physically but I would hurt his feeling by telling him it was time for him to leave.
ReplyDeleteIf that didn't work, I would sic my little chihuahua on him. That would make him leave
Rip their head off with my supernatural powers!!!
ReplyDeleteI would use sunlight during the day and a stake at night....call me old fashioned.
ReplyDeleteI am a classics king of gal - so I would stick to the stake int he heart, if I could get close enough. I would also be the type to use garlic.
ReplyDeleteBest way to get rid of a pesky vampire? Lol, well if we adhere to all the cliches.....eat and wear lots o' garlic and chase him into the sun! Unless, of course, he's hot and you really would rather keep him a round for a while!
ReplyDeleteI say wooden bullets with crosses carved in them and tiny vials of holy water embedded in them. Should do the trick!
ReplyDeletetiffanyniekro at gmail dot com
Make him come over for dinner , invite your werewolf friends , so they can hold him done while he stake him.
ReplyDeleteI think sunlight makes a great weapon. It is in abundance and somewhat reliable. If that does not work. I would choose a Hummer dosed in Holy water. *winks*
ReplyDeleteI'd use a nice strong (& hot!) vampire slayer to get rid of a pesky vampire. Win win situation all around!
ReplyDeleteI'd say burning one would be a pretty permanent solution.
ReplyDeleteEat lots of garlic rich foods and offer up yourself as a bite to eat to that pesky blood sucker, then when the vampire is stunned by your garlic rich blood - STAKE 'EM IN THE HEART! ;)
ReplyDeleteDrench yourself in a holy water/garlic perfume? :D And if that fails, bathe in the stuff~
ReplyDeleteFirst I would have to find out what works in this world. Stakes, sunlight, decapitation, garlic or holy water?
ReplyDeleteLoved her first book cant wait for the second
ReplyDeleteelizabethcerna2011@gmail.com
Depends on what you mean by pesky. ;)
ReplyDeleteI don't know. Lots of raw garlic? :P Not tasty, but effective against humans anyway. :)
Thank you for the giveaway!!!
ReplyDeleteBut I like vamps! Okay, um maybe I'd take up archery... ooh! And carry a flare gun!
Sunlight, if there is. If not, I go with fire.
ReplyDeleteIf I wanted to get rid of a pesky vampire, I'd make him come clothes and shoes shopping with me and my 2 teenage daughters...Trust me, any male, vampire or not, would run from that experience!!! And if that didn't work, maybe a few hours of listening to their "music" would do the trick!
ReplyDeleteNow, of course getting rid GETTING RID OF a pesky vampire is entirely different from actually KILLING one, so if it's death you're after, I'd have to go with the tried and true stake through the heart method, I guess!
Susan
sweb4us@aol.com
http://crazycatladyslibrary.blogspot.com/
Silver bullet to the heart! jeremywest91@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteOh, Susan, LOL! PERFECT response right there! XD
ReplyDeleteGreat comments, guys, good job!
-J
Ok....killing a vampire sounds kind of difficult....
ReplyDeleteI'd say Fire, because I don't care about collateral damage when a vampire is trying to eat me! (if that's the case)
Or, I'd call my best friend, who is a werewolf, because they don't stand each other, doesn't matter which book they are xD
A nice silver screen at all doors and windwos should do the trick.
ReplyDeletejuliecookies(at)gmail.com
I'd wear a belt or a scarp that would be coated in holy water. Also would always carry a water pistol, you know one of those that will drown your a** when hit by it, also filled with holy water.
ReplyDeletealterlisa AT yahoo DOT com
http://lisaslovesbooksofcourse.blogspot.com/
I will go with the holy water :) I can't fight, therefore I would use it and run away *gg*
ReplyDeleteChris
A great way to get rid of a vampire? Tell him you want to get married. HA! Just kidding. But really, I like sunlight. Burn, baby, burn.
ReplyDeleteCrossbow with stakes, means you get to keep your distance.
ReplyDeleteStay in the sun - failing that, be sure your neck is covered!
ReplyDeletemalleybean at gmail
LOL I agree with angel28140 about the marriage thing.
ReplyDeleteActually off with their head is usually the best thing for most things lol
hahaha... How would I get rid of a pesky Vampire!=)
ReplyDeleteHeck, I would contract someone with the skills. Keep my hands absolutely clean!=)
@angel- LOL!! Commitment probably scares any male of any species- good one!!
lol!!!
ReplyDeletehow about getting a paintball gun and shooting garlic cloves at them with it hehe.
haha eeryone has so many interesting ways but I think the best way to get rid of them is to eat garlic daily and only brush you teeth in the mornings ;P They can't harm in the day so after eating a days worth of garlic they are sure to stay away from you at night. hehe
ReplyDeleteApart from what a lot of people said about sunlight, stakes and silver, i think a good amount of explosives could do the trick.
ReplyDeleteLOL, that was an awesome post, hehe :)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to stick to the tried and tested ... drop an anvil on them!!! Hey, it works in all the cartoons :P
Obviously you use a vampire slaying warhammer. I've got one that gets plus five against vampires! (And I would use Cone of Cold. Cone of Cold is better than Fireball. It caps higher.)
ReplyDeleteFab guest post Jess - this sounds like such a great book, I really am going to have to get a copy!
ReplyDeleteIf the pesky vamp you're wanting to get rid of is Royce please feel free to send him my way - I'll keep him LOL
If it was a vamp I didn't like (not that that is very likely LOL) I'm too much of a wimp to try anything close range but I'm a pretty good shot with a crossbow so I'd have to go with that & stake them from a distance
Well, there is the traditional stake through the heart or a nice batch of sunlight/sunshine. Although, now a days they could probably make a UV bullet that could do the trick nicely.
ReplyDeleteI think a silver heel would be an unnoitceable weapon against a vampire but may be a bit hard to get to to stake the vamp with it so I would probably go with using a blowtorch =) Control over flames but effective if vamps get too near!!
ReplyDeleteShoutnaomi at googlemail dot com
Gvie him a blood mickey. . .spike his blood with holy water.
ReplyDeletegarlic lots and lots of garlic and a torch.
ReplyDeleteA hunky werewolf boyfriend who will rip him to shreds :D
ReplyDeleteI think I would use a UV lamp and some vaporized holy water.
ReplyDeleteHope i win
ReplyDeleteI'd have to do some sort of garlic coated crucifix or something, or maybe just hang up a bunch of Buffy posters! LOL.
ReplyDeletecall a vampire slayer..
ReplyDeleteI generally wear a crucifix. But, hey, I'm willing to eat lots of garlic and fling some holy water in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteI would suduce him with a nice canlelight room bath. I would fill the bath with holy water and tainted blood. Hopefully, he doesn't know it's tainted.
ReplyDeletedorcontest at gmail dot com
I heard a rumor if you blow in their ear they become your slave... You may not be rid of them but they won't be dangerous to you any more.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...how about marrying him and then nagging him to pick up his dirty clothes!? ;)
ReplyDeleteEither garlic pizza or as Sam Emerson says in The Lost Boys... "Death by stereo!".
ReplyDeleteSilver garlic bullet soaked in holy water and dried under the sun! 8D
ReplyDeleteA squirt gun filled with holy water. If that doesn't work, garlic PJ's?
ReplyDeleteHmmm- depends what the vampire rules are in your world
ReplyDeleteI am a traditionalist. I like go with silver bullets, possibly etched or painted with various religious symbols.
I would say garlic if that applies to your types of vampires. Please enter me in contest. Tore923@aol.com
ReplyDeleteMake them watch Twilight that should be enough to finish off any Vamp. lol seriously though stake through the heart and straight into sunlight.
ReplyDeleteTried and true: garlic! Of course having a sharpened wooden stake, silver bullet, and of course a large (and small) cruixifix handy doesn't hurt either! (I wouldn't take any chances with a pesky vampire!)
ReplyDeleteI read every comment above. Wow I'm so happy I'm not a vampire right now. I could get seriously chewed up.
ReplyDeleteBut I honestly think it wouldn't be too weird carrying around pepper spray that actually had holy water in it, as long as no one else (preferably the vamp) knows that. And for added measure, if I really didn't like him/her, I'd step over and walk away, but wearing wooden stakes as heels, of course :)
That was fun to think up. I have my fingers crossed!
legally_write {at} hotmail {dot} com
I think the best method is decapitation and then burning the remains..always seems to work in the movies
ReplyDeleteMaybe inject them with Holy water and then drag them into the sunlight.
ReplyDeleteseriousreader at live dot com
Get rid of them!
ReplyDeleteI love vampires!
If silver works maybe you could get close enough to slip on a silver bracelet then stake 'em? Or slip the silver one and hold them till sunlight.
ReplyDeleteI think the best way would be to sniper shoot them with special ice bullets made of holy water. I wouldn't want to get rid of them. They keep the food chain in order. ^_^
ReplyDeleteThat such if we shoot a bullet of garlic platinado blessed...
ReplyDeleteA great way to get rid of a pesky vampire.....hmmmm I would have to say be seductive and make it fall for you. Then you find its weak spot (puppies or children) and you use that to your advantage and destroy it! Muahahaha!!!
ReplyDeleteHaha, looooved the interview....
ReplyDeleteI'd have to say that I think the best way to get rid of a pesky vamp would be to.... *thinks* annoy him or her soooo much they never want to see your face again.
What? It's sneaky - they won't expect you to be doing it on purpose so if you annoy them, they'll think it's allll their idea!
Okay. Since THAT will just as likely get you killed.... I figure the best way to get rid of a pesky vamp is to sneak up on it unawares and chop off his or her head. Then burn the pieces. And maybe scatter them all over the globe, just to be safe. ;D
A UV light you keep in your purse....
ReplyDelete